Way back a lifetime and a half ago, picture me with a plastic tank on my back with several gallons of fluid in it - a 'backpack sprayer.' With my left hand I'd pump pressure into the tank, and my right hand would wave a wand from side to side spraying some form of synthetic herbicide, or very occasionally an insecticide on my parents' Christmas tree farm in Oregon. Round-up, malathion, 2-4-D - yes one of the ingredients used in 'agent orange' in this nation's war against Vietnam. The wind would blow it all 'away,' and I'd wear a filter mask . . . usually. Good times. Any connection to a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis two and a half decades later? Honestly I doubt it - not to say I think it was a good thing to expose my body to this, to say nothing of the very earth that sustains all life, song, dance, and poetry.
I certainly feel that such synthetic '-cides' (herbi, pesti, insecti, etceteri . . .) have no proper place in our human ecology. The flora and fauna on which these toxins are doused - not to mention the streams, rivers, air, land, and ground water - are precious gifts from the good earth. And if we are to have any 'relationship' with them at all - at least in so far as gaining material and spiritual sustenance from them, or from the rich tilth under our feet or in our spades - then it should be a relationship based on stewardship.
Now, let go of that image of teenage Pete spraying weed-killer in the summer heat, and fast forward to September of 2001, when I was diagnosed with MS. (I think of this as my own private 911.) For about ten years I jabbed myself with various hypodermic needles, or sat receiving intravenous elixirs for a few hours, chemo-therapy style. These chemicals tinkered in various ways with the workings of this body's immune system. There is a chance that these meds helped to slow the progression of the autoimmune process of MS. And my doctors have said that the MRI scans I get every so often look 'stable.' But what I never experienced were any improvements in my 'clinical,' that is, boots on the ground symptom management. Until about three months ago that is.
As I have mentioned once or twice in these blog pages in the past, I take daily 'metrics' of just how my various symptoms are doing. Some of these numbers are subjective - like 'mood' or 'energy level' - but some are objective. For instance, how many steps does it take me - without my cane! - to walk from our door down the hall to the elevator each morning? (You might imagine, this is not such a graceful picture . . . . I've even fallen a couple times - two 'penalty strokes' per fall, or one stroke for bumping into the wall! No worries, the hall is carpeted, no breaks, maybe mild bruising, and the opportunity to practice falling safely.)
So, in February, just about ten days into a new oral medication named 'Aubagio' (pronounced oh-bajio, like in aubergine), some of these metrics actually got better - specifically the counted steps. Not pre-MS better, I'm not quite jogging down the hall, but my goodness, any improvement had never happened since my diagnosis. (I must also add that my subjective gait numbers have not changed much, either positively or negatively, that is, my hobbling with the cane, particularly throughout the day, feels more or less unchanged - which means that if not for taking these daily metrics, I might not have caught this.) Am I going to take an ad out in the newspaper, shout from every rooftop how potentially wonderful this is? Don't think so. Am I even going to post this blog entry? We shall see. Have I allowed myself to feel any hope that this might be the one? Ever so cautious optimism, and a few grains of hope. Am I concerned that this might just be a 'placebo effect?' Perhaps a little - however, given the very scientific approach I've taken with the metrics all these years, I'm relatively confident that it's not. Or at least it's not just placebo at work. Partly because it was a week and a half before any improvement was noted. And for full disclosure, I've had some side effects to deal with. But, like I said, this seems to be the very first time I've felt any main effects, which so far definitely outweigh the side ones. Even if this med should gradually run out of steam, or stop having any positive effect, I have experienced something new: a medicine that actually had a good result - if this one doesn't continue helping, at least I've seen that something actually can.
But, the careful reader may be wondering, what on earth do the herbicides and insecticides described above have to do with any of this? And while the sixties' adage that 'everything is everything' is by definition always germane, the relationship I actually intended bears a closer look. In the 1980s the Hoechst AG chemical company looked at several compounds for potential use as pesticides. Lo and behold, one of the chemicals was found to 'defend against inflammation.' (I suppose I could research this further, maybe find out how in the heck they discovered it did such a thing. . . were they spraying it on MS patients?) At any rate, the compound was eventually developed into a drug to treat rheumatoid arthritis (another autoimmune condition), then eventually to treat MS. (Which may or may not tie up that loose end for you. I know, some may find my logic ranging from oblique to opaque. However, obtuse it most definitely is not!)
However, it is clearer to me than ever that the regular exercise and physical therapy I have been doing all these years is paramount - any improvement in gait or balance ultimately rests on these keeping my muscle tone at a feasibly maximum readiness. Which is something no drug can provide. Reminds me, time to go to the gym!
