Falling slowly

New year's resolutions seem to bubble up on me around this time of year.  Actually, the 'resolution' part of that statement isn't really accurate.  In December and January, I'll find myself doing something or other which is either brand new, or in some way an incremental change.  For instance, in '09/'10 it was playing the guitar on a daily basis.  So I called it a resolution, and have continued ever since.  A sort of 'leading (myself) from behind.'

This year - this fall and winter actually - I've notice a somewhat hastened slowing down; this may sound like an oxymoron, however I mean that my symptoms of MS seem to be getting heavier faster.  Is it my resolution to make it even faster?  Hardly.  Resolutions to the contrary or not, that's how things have felt, with their attendant emotional baggage.  Particularly over the past few weeks.

For a couple reasons perhaps, not least of which might be the less healthy diet that is so popular this Yuletide season. Another reason was my first colonoscopy the week before last (the result: clean as a whistle!)  Which means I haven't been to the gym for two weeks.  I've recently resumed, and behold, I feel better!  Causality of course is not clear - that is, maybe I'm getting back to it because I feel better, and not vice-versa - but it is good to be back at it regardless.  During this decade of 'MS-tery', the single best medicine I've found is regular exercise.

Which includes daily physical therapy, starting with balance movements, and moving on from there.  A bit of tai chi, a swing and lindy hop, and recently I'll attempt to include something 'baroque' each session.  By which I mean some improvised movement in the moment that is not necessarily fancy, ornate, or extravagant - the usual metaphoric meaning of the term.  But instead something odd.  Strange.  Unexpected.  The word baroque derives from the Italian word for an irregularly shaped pearl, and that is the meaning I employ for something surprising, or out of the ordinary.  Suddenly reaching up to the sky, or swiveling my head, perhaps slapping the floor.  Maybe all three in succession.  Or something that happens in the moment - maybe it has percolated up from below, some muscle group that is subconsciously asking for attention.  Or something quite pedestrian, which may or may not result in a feeling of release.

(A favorite song of mine is Baroque and Blue by Claude Bolling, in which this is given a voice, and can be seen/heard here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dVtLVSzESU  Click and you can listen as you read this post.  There is much more to the suggestive title, it seems:  the jazz, the classical, etc.  I think the song takes the classical music sense of the word Baroque - Bach for example - and after juxtaposing it, weaves it gradually together with jazz, and the blues.  And plays with the obvious double entendre, 'broke and blue'.  The sense of baroque meaning something unexpected or enigmatic, however, would put the jazz into both words, making something of a hidden triple entendre.  I love the resulting confluence of musical traditions.  End of parenthetic foray.)

Back to the physical therapy.  For a few days now, I have reincorporated 'the fall' into my routine.  The 'fall of man,' Paradise Lost?  Not exactly.  Ideally, a moment will come when my balance is teetering a bit from some action or other, and I will slowly follow that in a relatively careful roll or fall to the floor.  But more often, it will come at the end of the PT session, and not be preceded by a spontaneous balance loss.  What's the point?  No therapist has ever suggested it (liability concerns maybe?), but I have fallen and gotten bruised a couple of times since my diagnosis, and it seems that the more practice I get falling slowly and carefully, the less chance for injury.  At the very least, it adds to the PT session, working different muscle and nerve groups as I get back up to my feet.

Sometimes, but not often, I'll have music playing as I do the PT.  Glenn Miller's In The Mood is great with the swing/lindy hop steps, of course.  I should try doing it to Baroque and Blue, but I don't 'have' that song yet.  I think it's on my top 100 (plus) songs list that my dear wife has been burning by approximately 20 song chunks at a time to CD's for me, on my birthday, Christmas, etc.

Another thing that I've gradually been adopting, is to set a timer each hour to get up and move about, walk, stretch, do pushups, whatever.  Most of us are doing far too little of that these days - witness the obesity, high blood pressure, and diabetes epidemics - but with MS it is particularly important.  Butts sat upon for several hours can result in rather congealed and unyielding legs.

Which means, do it, right now, the alarm has sounded!  Soldier, hit the ground, give me fifty!